On Tumblr, @instructor144 said: An important thing that the young/new Doms don’t get. D/s is not something that a Dom “does to” his sub. It’s something she “does to” HERSELF. She is not dictated to; she is simply wrapped in a cocoon of safety in which she can exercise her volition to embrace what she WANTS to do and WANTS to be. No mean feat, constructing that safe space in which the sub can, paradoxically, feel “free.”
My thoughts : So perfectly stated. When I feel safe as a submissive, I also feel safer to explore kinks I’ve said ‘no’ to before. When You make me feel safe, I can trust You to manage how I experience Your kinks … and maybe they will become my kinks, too. I can devote obedience to You with the deepest respect, not pandering cowardice or fear, or worse, needy insecurity. I can trust You to hear me, see me, and still be fully in control because mastery and control are who You are. I surrender my fear and step into Your space freely even if I shake with anxiety because I trust You to be in charge of keeping the safe space.